The Water Lily Ninja Diaries
by Eilwynn
Summary: In both worlds, pre-canon Naruto desperately needs to be noticed and puts up the tough face that he thinks will get himself best noticed. Male Naruto is a class clown troublemaker. Female Naruto is a weird girl. This is the beginning divergence. Fem Naruto. Strong Naruto. Smart Naruto. SasuNaruGaa. Sasuke/Naruto/Gaara. Mangaverse. I DON'T WRITE HERE ANYMORE.
1. Prologue: Pre Pixie Days (The Fox Girl)

The Water Lily Ninja Diaries

Prologue: Pre Pixie Days (The Fox Girl)

The day Uzumaki Ren decided to become a Manic Pixie Dream Girl was the day her life as a kunoichi - a female ninja - truly began in earnest. She decided it quite consciously. She just woke up one day and told herself: "I am a Manic Pixie Dream Girl now." And so she began trying very hard and very conscientiously to pretend she was one - sort of like trying on a hat and then walking out of the store with it. She then became a true ninja. One thing followed the other. Ren stole a metaphorical store hat and afterward became a killer kunoichi.

But more on that in a minute. First, a matter of import - Ren's life pre Manic Pixie Dream Girl status:

… Okay. Serious time.

Bullying on the childhood playground was hard.

It didn't always have to be physical. When people laughed in your face on the playground, mocked you and called you names, told you that you were ugly and worthless and you ran away crying, everyone staring at you and your face flaming hot and the words ringing in your ears -

That was bad.

But it was worse when you thought you'd found a friend, and then you ran off to play on the swings for five minutes, and you came back behind a tree only to hear the kid saying to another, "God, that girl is such a freak. Why is she playing with us?"

You pretended it didn't hurt, that you didn't care what anybody thought. But it did. It hurt.

Bullying was a process of little comments like that on the playground, of mocking laughter that the bullies didn't think anything of. Little comments, little people saying that trait of yours was weird or that thing you thought was stupid, little things that all built up into you crying at home and trying not to cry on the playground and in general feeling so paralyzingly angry and hateful and so fucking sick of crying that you wanted to throw up.

Bullying came from adults, too. Sometimes bullying was a process of adults pulling their children away from you and yelling at you on the playground, there in front of everyone, humiliatingly. Bullying was, "Come around my children again and I'll end you!" Like you weren't even really a child yourself, but were instead an alien, an Other. Bullying was you being pushed away from another child, your privacy being invaded - or, worse, a lecture, as if you were inferior and could somehow be "fixed." Bullying was you walking down the street and people making rude, scathing comments after you, like you didn't have ears and you couldn't hear. Bullying was someone seeing you in a shop, glaring, turning, and running out the door the other way. The cold, bottom dropping out of your stomach feeling that accompanied it.

Bullying was a slow, degrading process of never being good enough for anyone.

But the isolation. The isolation was worse.

Ren should have been fairly popular among the other kids on the playground. Her name meant "water lily," a perfect counterpoint to her Uzumaki surname which meant "whirlpool," and her appearance reflected that beauty. She had a slim build, fair skin, soft almond-shaped violet-grey eyes, and long straight crimson colored hair. She had a slim, heart-shaped face and tiny, delicate features. She had natural slim red markings around her eyes that made the eyes look more fox-like, and two red dots above the insides of her eyebrows.

She'd always thought they were clan markings, from the family who had died the day she was born, the family who died the day of the fox demon Kyuubi yokai attack on Konoha village.

She looked like traditional paintings of beautiful red-haired fox demon yokai women, from old folklore and mythology, which she thought was why people called her "fox girl." It was perhaps, she thought, why she was so distrusted.

No one trusted the kid born and orphaned the day the fox demon attacked who looked like a fox demon.

But more than being a pretty girl with a pretty name, more than being a fox girl, Ren was an orphan. She seemed to love being in pain, to love defining herself by what labels other people put on her because it was all she knew how to do. She was like an empty vase, no water in it yet, no flowers. She was Nobody, the dumb girl who cried a lot. But more than being Nobody, the dumb girl who cried a lot, she was an orphan. She was an orphan who lived on her own, off of government checks, in an empty, crummy single apartment. A village was supposed to raise a child in Ren's culture, but Ren was pretty sure no one was raising her. Everyone just gave her cold, alien eyes and stayed far away.

"Fox girl," they whispered hatefully.

And so she was alone. And being alone was worse, young Ren quickly learned. Being alone was the worst part of all.

Being alone was walking into the relative safety of an empty apartment and pretending the silent stillness wasn't eating away at you. Being alone was faking imaginary conversations to the air just to have somebody to talk to. Being alone was naming your plants and caring for them so that something alive needed you. Being alone was crying and feeling like a failure when one of them died.

Being alone was not trusting anyone who was nice to you. Being alone was feeling paranoid every time someone said they couldn't spend time with you, like no one really wanted to be with you at all. Being alone was going whole days without saying anything of significance to anyone.

Being alone was doing everything for yourself, and breaking all the rules with no satisfaction, and realizing no one would care if you fucked up your entire life. If you died, no one would care. No one was ever there to do anything for you, and it was true - it was proven.

When you "fucked up," as the adults said with freeness pretending Ren wasn't there - when you fucked up, no one cared.

No one cared on the streets either. You walked alone. Everyone ignored you. You weren't there. If you'd suddenly disappeared, the world would have continued on - unchanged. You watched other people be happy together and wondered what that felt like. Little, weird moments of clarity amid the dim confusion, the dim confusion that ate away at most concrete memories of your village layout except for occasional flashes of an image:

A long paved street lined with colorful little brick buildings, lamp posts, and neatly planted trees. A grey haze of a rainy day that made the green of the trees look darker. A vast sandstone monument to the Konoha village Hokage leaders. A snatch of forestry and then a great wooden wall beyond it that was supposed to keep everybody safe. People in weird modern-kimono blend clothing. Ninja in weapons holsters and dark forest green flak vests and hitai-ate symbol marker bands. A bland, white-walled apartment with faded old thin, threadbare commercial carpet, a single front room, a single back room, and one hallway in between.

All slowly faded away.

Into nothing.

Except glaring, distant faces, across a chasm of distance away from you on every side. That was all you remembered.

The thoughts continued to spiral downward.

And together - being bullied by both children and adults, being completely alone - together eventually you got to the thought, "… What's really the point?"

Ren did not understand why she was despised so much, so firmly ignored. No one in Konoha village liked foxes, not after the Fourth Hokage had died defeating a demonic one and sealing it away while protecting his village from the attack that had killed many, including Ren's parents the day she was born. But there had to be more to it than that, more to this irrational hatred and loneliness, than some strange looking fox girl features. And as a young child this ate away at her, this not knowing.

Apologies for the deeply unpleasant topic in relation to a child. This state of mind must be firmly understood, or everything that happens afterward will not make sense.

Because now comes the one time a Manic Pixie Dream Girl was ever genuinely a savior. That fairy-like little glittery woman swooped down and saved an empty girl by giving her something to become, something brave and tremendous because it wasn't real and it never had been and the empty girl was blissfully unaware of either fact.

And that - that moment of becoming - that's where the story starts.

The day Uzumaki Ren decided to become a Weird Girl.


	2. The Pixie Impresses the Hokage

Chapter One: The Pixie Impresses the Hokage

It had happened again. Ren was playing with a child on the playground happily, and suddenly a mother stormed right over and snatched her child away by the arm; the little boy cried out.

"You stay away from my child!" the mother shouted fearfully, harshly, that cold alien Othering as always in her eyes.

Tears welled up in Ren's eyes, useless, stupid tears. Her face worked, and she ran away, past the harsh shouts and mocking laughter of other adults in the Konoha children's park, down the street.

Why did she even try? she thought, knelt crying underneath the eaves of a shop. Why did she just keep…?

And then she looked up.

It had been raining yesterday, and she saw herself reflected in a puddle on the sidewalk ahead of her. She stood, eyes wide and tearful, and moved over to stare at her reflection -

Blotchy red face. Red, crying eyes. Face twisted in self pity.

Pathetic.

Ren's face worked into one of anger - hardening anger - her fists clenched. "I'm tired of crying!" she suddenly shouted to the blue skies above. She sat down, scowling and a little pouty, against the wall of the building, hoping someone wasn't about to send her away for loitering - that had happened before. "Crying is useless. It never does anything. What do I think this is, a soap opera sob story?"

The voice that issued out of her mouth was harsh.

"I need… to not let them know they're getting to me," she whispered to herself, falling into solemn pondering. She pictured herself drawing a wide lipstick clown smile on a sad face. "I need a mask - a happy one. I need… something to be, something… something that gets me noticed."

She looked up in realization, her eyes wide.

"I need a tough person mask that gets me noticed," she breathed, and a wide smile came over her face. Then she frowned. "But I don't know much about how normal people are. How do I decide what kind of person I should become…?"

And then it hit her: movies.

* * *

Ren walked up to the video rental store counter and dumped countless movies onto the counter. "I want to rent these," she said flatly.

The clerk looked hesitant, but he rang up her purchases and she paid him with part of the government money she had carefully counted out.

She took the movies home, and watched them. At the end, sitting on her bed, she dictated quite solemnly into a little recorder she had with her.

"So… here's what I'm thinking.

"As far as I can tell, in kids and teenagers there are five types of people to be, but only two of them apply to girls. Boys are jocks, nerds, and class clown troublemakers. But girls are either snotty princesses or weird girls.

"That's the way it seems to work.

"I can't see myself as a snotty princess… I don't think it would fit… so I've gotta be a weird girl. So odd that people have to take notice of me, right? But what kind of weird girl?

"Here's what I did. I sat at the end of my bed in my crummy single apartment, watching the TV across the back room for countless hours. I memorized character types and all sorts of things. It was all… what's the word? Methodical, and stuff.

"Then I went out and bought a magazine on movie character types. I could sorta read the words, but it had lots of big, colorful, glossy pictures, which I loved.

"I'm this super naturally energetic and excitable person. And there's this one weird girl type called Manic Pixie Dream Girl.

"And I can go all out with this to get myself noticed - I've always been kinda curious about makeup, so with no parents I can even try that, even though I'm only about six. I can try whatever I want to make this work. No one's stopping me.

"But as far as I can tell… here's what the Manic Pixie Dream Girl is all about.

"They have lots of energy but are really pretty about it, and they're quirky but everyone likes them. Really dark, sort of romantic, quiet guys tend to be attracted to them - nerds, too, and lonely guys. Manic Pixie Dream Girls help the guys feel better about life and come to appreciate it more.

"I think that's pretty cool.

"See, as far as I can tell, in most movies guys are the main characters and girls are the love interest characters. Most girls in movies are defined by what they do to guys, how they act with them. And tomboys and bad girls usually don't make the cut.

"Girls are the stories that happen to guys. They get swept off their feet. It's what they do. So girls have to pick what kind of a role they want to be for a guy.

"Manic Pixies are usually kinda small and skinny like me, they're weird and they're smart. And as far as I can tell, sad, smart, bookish guys tend to like them. They're sensitive and eccentric and daydreamy, they have lots of glitter and eccentric makeup and hair colors, they like music and dancing, and they're usually super optimistic about life - which could only be good for me, at this point.

"If I have to be a girl, and especially a weird girl, I like the idea of being that kind of a weird girl.

"So now I have to get down to being quirky." She took a deep breath. "I can do this. I'll just wake up tomorrow and… start being a Manic Pixie Dream Girl."

* * *

Ren walked matter of factly into the Hokage's office, with dignity, accompanied by ninja. The Third Hokage leader's office was a vast place with floor to ceiling windows placed behind a massive desk. The aging little old Hokage in robes sat on the other side of the desk, giving Ren a flat glare.

Ren sat down across from him, the two ninja left, and in the heavy silence Ren stared calmly right back.

"… Your redid a shop owner's storefront in sparkly glitter hearts," the Third Hokage, Sarutobi Hiruzen, said at last.

"I improved on it," said Ren with dignity.

"You didn't ask him first."

"I know. Tons of people were staring at me. It was great."

"You drew a mob."

"Yup." Ren studied her fingernails, pleased with herself.

The Third sighed. "I need a smoke for this," he decided, and took out his wood pipe, lighting it. "So…" He took a great puff and sat back. "What is this new… thing you've been doing? I've been sending a personal academic tutor to your apartment, in preparation for you entering the Konoha Ninja Academy as a fighting trainee when you're eight.

"She claims you insist on using glossy gel pens for all your work, and you will not write in anything but cute kanji and hearts," said the Third Hokage slowly, deadpan and disbelieving.

Ren gasped, delight coming over her face. "You want to hear about my quirk kit!" she realized excitedly.

"Oh, God," said the Third Hokage to no one in particular.

"Here is my usual snack: wild berry pop tarts." She took them out of - of all things - the ninja equipment pouch and ninja weapons holster now attached to her leg. "And the necessary stuffed beanie baby - I love those!"

This was also taken out of her equipment pouch. Hiruzen put his head in his hand.

"Those pouches…" he said, "are for things that kill people."

"Well don't attack me for being creative," Ren pouted. Then she brightened excitedly. "Oh, and there's more!"

"Of course there is," said the Third flatly, head in his hand, watching her.

"This is mermaid fairy makeup - my latest trial." She pointed at her face. "And this -" She pointed at the long braid behind her that used to be red. "Is sand art hair dye. Totally temporary. It'll come out in a few days. Oh, random side note? Those little colorful bath bombs? They are awesome! It's like I'm bathing in a scented rainbow!

"I've discovered I love the color purple. My entire bedroom is now purple. So is my new kunoichi outfit!" She pointed brightly, beaming, at the purple sweater dress with black fishnet leggings she was wearing. "I also love crystals. I have one here -" She pointed at the crystal pendant necklace around her neck. "And then a WHOLE bunch more hung up in my room!

"I like dancing around in my PJ's as I get ready in the morning. And I love avant-garde kimono styles, like on New Years.

"This is my frog wallet -" She took up an adorable little stuffed frog wallet whose mouth opened to hold money. "It's currently full of green tea caramels." She squinted one eye as she looked into the wallet's depths. "Oh, and I love green tea coffee. Also butterfly and hummingbird designs. I stenciled them onto my purple bedroom walls."

"Wait, wait, wait, wait -" The Hokage held up a hand, squinting in exhaustion. "You… not only wear makeup, you… drink coffee? You're six!"

"Yup," said Ren matter of factly. "What? It's not like there's anyone there to stop me." She frowned. "I was super hyperactive after the first coffee and I had to pee a lot. I think I broke like three things in my house and made a mess of the toilet.

"But after that everything was okay.

"Thanks for the tutor, by the way. She's helpful." Ren began swinging her legs, looking around the office.

"In… what way? You like learning?" said the Hokage, trying to clutch onto something that made him feel better about something concerning Ren's progress.

"Well, sort of. I've always been curious about porn and erotic fiction. Now that I can read, I got to try those out." Ren brightened. "I can flirt with people now! It makes them super uncomfortable!"

And she began giggling mischievously, madly.

"You… flirt… with people?"

"What's wrong, Grandpa? You insulted I don't flirt with you?" said Ren teasingly, making a pouty baby face.

"You are the most irreverent little…" the Third Hokage growled. "You shouldn't be reading erotic fiction at all!"

"Yet again - that rule only applies to people who have had parents," said Ren, pointing.

She didn't mean it in a self pitying way, but the Third paused, looking sad.

"Anyway…" Ren looked out the window. "There are some nice birds outside," she said mildly.

The Third looked in bewilderment behind him. "You always were easily… distractible," he admitted.

"Yeah," said Ren airily. "I daydream a lot. I'm kind of an airhead." She smiled brightly. "I got lost on the way to the grocery store the other day. I keep burning food because I don't remember I'm making it. I accidentally run into doors and trip over my own feet a lot. I stare out windows with my mouth open, twirling my bangs around with a finger, and sometimes I trail off in the middle of conversations with my mouth open because I start thinking of something else."

"… How are you still alive?" said the Hokage in bewilderment.

"I don't know!" Ren giggled brightly.

The Hokage just sat there. Staring.

"Anyway, that's what I wanted to thank you for," she added firmly. The Hokage paused in surprise as Ren looked up, suddenly deceptively sharp-eyed and serious - very adult - a complete turnaround. "See, I have it all figured out.

"Girls can't afford to be stupid.

"Stupid girls don't survive or get respect in our world. Guys can afford to be stupid, maybe, but girls can't be. I have to prove myself as a future kunoichi woman type ninja, on top of everything else.

"So I've been forcing myself to read a lot during tutoring sessions and become secretly super smart. It's been a lot of hard work, but I'm getting there. I keep bringing home huge, teetering piles of books going clear above my head. I basically buy my weight in books.

"So… thanks. You know… I don't just use your lessons for flirty, perverted stuff."

The Third was completely blindsided by this suddenly serious, smart, sharp-eyed version of Ren.

"… You really do know quite well what you're doing for a child, don't you?" he realized sharply.

Ren just sat there and looked at him. "… It's fun," she admitted eventually, shrugging. "And it gets me noticed. It's a way to be and talk about myself. So it's fine."

"And… if it's lonely… being noticed mostly through rolled eyes and obnoxiousness and scolding and random glittery redecorations…

"That's also fine?"

Ren frowned stubbornly and stared down at her toes. "I don't like to talk about that," she said in a tiny, hard voice. "Stop lecturing me." She sounded petulant.

It was as good as an admittance. The Third sighed. "Okay, Ren," he said tiredly, sad. "You can go."

Ren looked up, brightening.

After she'd left, advisors and fellow village Elders Koharu and Homura came in, both robed as well. "How did it go?" Koharu asked tentatively.

Hiruzen was staring at his desk. "… She's brilliant," he admitted. "But she needs something to do with herself. A way to express herself.

"And she's an Uzumaki daughter. Kushina's daughter. She has the red hair and everything.

"It would be criminal, don't you think?" He looked up sharply. "Not to giver her her mother's clan and ability scrolls?"

"… Ah. I see," said Homura, reserved. "Two full years before the Academy. She'd be a powerhouse if she worked at it hard enough, especially with no way of gauging how much she is supposed to have learned.

"But there is a risk… that she'll find out," he warned. "What she is and why she's hated."

"That," said Hiruzen with hard eyes, "is a risk I am willing to take. This girl in particular… it would be criminal not to give her useful skills, something ninja to do with her growing crafty brain."

* * *

Ren threw herself down across the massive mahogany desk from the Third Hokage in the giant desk chair once more. "Hey, Grandpa, what's up?" she said bluntly. "I didn't even do any creative redecorating this time and we… just talked?" She raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"… You know, most people refer to me as Hokage-sama," said the Third Hokage, narrow-eyed and deadpan.

"Yeah, well, they just don't love you as much as I do," said Ren, grinning. "Don't worry. You'll get there someday."

The Third Hokage sighed. "Be polite or I won't help you."

Ren perked up, curious. "… Help me with what?"

"With this." And the Hokage, an aging little man in official robes, lifted up a massive chest and set it on the desk between them. He opened it up… and the inside was filled with training scrolls.

Ren stood on the chair on her tiptoes to look into the chest, awed at the treasure trove of information.

"These… are from your mother."

Ren looked up, wide-eyed, for a second stricken and vulnerable.

"Her name was Uzumaki Kushina," the Third continued. "As you are an Uzumaki daughter, Ren, and they were a mostly matriarchal, or woman-based ninja clan… I thought Kushina's daughter should learn her clan techniques. You even look like an Uzumaki - with your red hair, build, and coloring.

"As far as we know, you are… all that's left, so this is best.

"Go train with them. You have two years before Academy entry," were his only orders, and then he sent her with a casual, stoical wave of the hand away from the office as she still stood there on the chair with a scroll in her hands and her torn heart full.


	3. Fighting for Worth

Chapter Two: Fighting for Worth

Ren had so much time to herself, and was so determined to become a ninja someday and gain some decent respect, that she trained hard with the scroll techniques. Ren was a hard worker, one could say that for her. She also had no knowledge, having no one around her, of what she was supposed to be able to achieve at her age and what she wasn't. She had no sort of litmus test to compare herself to others. She wasn't sure how much she was supposed to master before the Academy.

So she just played it safe and mastered everything. Luckily, these were the kinds of techniques she and her Uzumaki body were a natural in… and so she thrived, sometimes mastering a complex Uzumaki technique in a matter of hours.

One thing she did ask for in the beginning:

She walked into the Hokage's office one day about a week later and said, her eyes considering, "With these scrolls. Grandpa, will you help me train?"

Hiruzen smirked from his desk. "… I thought you'd never ask."

* * *

"It says in this scroll," Ren read importantly, out on a grassy, forested and river-strewn training field fenced in across from the Hokage himself, who looked amused in full armor body gear, "that my clan taijutsu style is Water Weaving Fist - Mizuoriken.

"By the way." She put the scroll down and frowned. "Why are you helping me?"

The Third looked surprised. "Well, they say not to look a gift horse in the mouth."

"I think it's a fair question," said Ren in a hard voice.

"Okay… the Uzumaki are related to a clan I owe a very great debt to. Your relatives made me who I am today. We are on the same side, your family and mine. I was also… friends with your parents, and I owe them… a personal debt."

He looked down, away.

"And you still won't tell me about them," Ren realized.

"… Keep reading," was all Hiruzen said.

Ren's eyes narrowed, but she put the scroll up before her nose again, looking at it closely.

"Mizuoriken is based off of the idea that water flows around even the tiniest of spaces, shapes itself to its environment, and still always manages to slip away and survive. The fighter flows, or weaves, quickly and acrobatically around any attacks, never allowing themselves to be touched. To attack, they go in and out with quick nerve attacks to vital areas.

"The main idea is to be 'like water' - and all the kata sequences and moves reflect this." She put down her scroll, frowning.

"So - you will do the moves and katas, and then you will spar with me," said the Hokage, nodding once.

"… Okay," Ren admitted, shrugging, as usual having no idea the full import of who she was fighting with.

Ren practiced moves and katas until she was sweaty, sore, and exhausted. She did every recommended Uzumaki technique in the books to increase speed and acrobatic agility. She memorized huge visuals of where all the major nerve attacks were on the body.

But the real test, of course, was when she sparred with the Hokage himself - even when he was holding back.

He was merciless, fast, and strong, but he would also pause to correct her mistakes and help her in a number of ways. Slowly, as the first weeks passed, she got used to and fell into their groove…

And she began growing stronger. Good at sweating and working hard at taijutsu, callused hands and feet.

"My goal," she told a surprised Hiruzen with sharp eyes, "is to be a master at Mizuoriken by the time I reach the Academy.

"I must become an expert at quick, deadly attacks and never being touched."

* * *

For elemental ninjutsu, the Hokage had her channel chakra through paper.

"Ninjutsu are techniques done using chakra energy that look like magic," said Ren simply. "Some ninjutsu are elemental - fire, lightning, earth, water, and wind are the five main elements.

"Now, it says here that the Uzumaki have a natural bloodline for being good at both wind and water ninjutsu, and at putting the two together into our own unique attacks. We can even pull water from the air."

"That makes… weird amounts of sense, for an Uzumaki to be able to create a whirlpool out of thin air," Hiruzen admitted, troubled. "It also matches what I know. The Second Hokage, a cousin of the Uzumaki - he could pull water from the air.

"So… I'm curious… this slip of paper can be bought in weapons stores and was forested from a chakra infested tree. I got the unusually sensitive kind… the kind that can sense both primary and secondary elemental affinities.

"First and second element specialties," he added at Ren's blank stare. "The element you're best at, and your second best element."

"Oh." Ren nodded. "Okay."

Ren took the slip of paper, shot blue chakra energy through it. The paper cut right in half, and then both halves softly dampened.

"Wind first, water second." The Hokage nodded. "Exactly. As I thought. Your father was a wind elemental, so it makes sense."

Ren was listening curiously.

"Which means… this should be good for you," said Hiruzen, smirking. "Wind and water together. Not even the Second could do that. It is a unique bloodline."

And so Ren practiced. She crafted whips made of water and blades made of wind. She blew and cut with wind elemental ninjutsu, drowned and broke the body parts of Hokage clones with poundings, slammings of water.

She passed out a lot training in those ninjutsu techniques. But the hardest part was yet to come.

She concentrated one day, channeling her chakra, shaking and sweating… and water droplets slowly formed in the air around her in the training field. She brightened, beamed, gasping for air and dripping sweat -

And then she promptly passed out again.

But the breakthrough had happened. She could take water from air.

Finally came the big one. She made the hand seals one day and did her first:

"Whirlpool Technique! Uzumaki no Jutsu!"

A wall of whirling wind and water appeared from the air and slammed into the clones, dissipating all of them in one great burst.

Hiruzen watched from a distance in awe and smiled proudly… then ran forward when tiny Ren collapsed.

She was cheering triumphantly from the ground even as he sprinted across the field to get her.

* * *

Her greatest bloodline, though, was why she stuck to big time ninjutsu at first.

"My bloodline," she told the surprised Hokage one day, "my greatest bloodline is abnormally huge chakra coils and abnormally 'potent' chakra."

"Potent means powerful," he explained at her air quotes. "So like the Hyuuga, you really have two bloodlines… how interesting…"

"Yeah. Every clan has at least one gift, and mine has two: wind and water together from the air, huge and powerful chakra coils," Ren explained from a scroll. "This means my chakra control sucks - I can't put lots of chakra into a tiny space naturally - but I can do really powerful, taxing stuff super easily, even if I burn off a lot at first with no control.

"This second bloodline made the Uzumaki popular in arranged marriages in older times, and it also gives us lots of what's called 'endurance.' This is just a fancy way of saying we almost never pass out and we're hard to kill. We never run out of chakra power. This bloodline also gives us unnatural healing ability, in addition to the obvious - enormous power. And if we throw our chakra out wide enough around us… we can sense, kind of like an eye technique or a doujutsu.

"I want to practice three things with you. First, an Uzumaki can do what's called Biting-Healing, in which an injured person bites an Uzumaki and healing Uzumaki chakra floods their body, saving them. Uzumaki Clan members can even do this to ourselves until we run out of chakra energy.

"Second, I have to practice the 'throw chakra out around and sense' technique, called Mind's Eye of Kagura.

"But third, I have to learn high-level chakra control techniques to make up for my Uzumaki high-level chakra coils.

"My Mom Uzumaki Kushina collected these to make herself better at ninjutsu, which she was originally horrible at but turned into an enormous strength through her growing knowledge of Konoha-based chakra control techniques. She can teach me through these scrolls how to channel chakra into the bottoms of my feet - the hardest place to channel chakra - first to walk sideways up a steady surface like a tree, and second to walk horizontally across an unsteady surface like a local pond.

"If I can do that, my chakra control will have improved. And…"

"You want a teacher. Help." Hiruzen nodded seriously. "It's natural. Okay. I'll help you.

"And I will help you practice healing, too."

And so they practiced. Ren practiced healing injured Hokage clones through bites, kneeling down beside them and flooding their bodies with chakra and saving them from dissipation, until she could do it near perfectly until she ran out of chakra.

She threw her chakra out in wide arcs around her and practiced finding where the Hokage was hidden among the underbrush, sensing out chakra signatures and genjutsu illusions. She would put her hands in a hand seal, whisper, "Mind's Eye of Kagura," and suddenly through her chakra she could see in a way her eyes could never match.

But she also practiced tree climbing and water walking.

She passed out a lot here again - running up trees and across water surfaces, falling down or getting wet over and over again.

But slowly… slowly… she began mastering the exercises under Hiruzen's watchful eye, pointers, and barked orders from back behind at a distance.

And her chakra control started improving.

"To be fair, there are a few things I've learned ahead of time through the scrolls that I can't do," Ren admitted to the Hokage. "I'm not naturally good at the feminine kunoichi arts. Formality and grace just go right over my head. I'm also shit at making genjutsu illusions and at more traditional, quiet, slow, and control-based types of healing. My chakra control and detailed intellect still aren't… amazing, you see, even with all that training and reading."

She was sheepish.

"That's natural," said Hiruzen. "Everyone has a weakness. But now we add in the most innate Uzumaki ability of all…"

"Right." Ren nodded one day at the training field, her eyes determined. "Now we get to what made the Uzumaki so famous.

"Their abilities with sealing - most simply, the ability to create a symbol, make it glow with chakra, and have it do something to whatever is touching it."

* * *

"There are Seven Points of Sealing," Ren told the Hokage. "That's what the Uzumaki call them. The Seven Points.

"First is the obvious - academic seal study and slow, complex seal puzzle writing and creation.

"But then there is also one-touch seal creation and removal - like in a battle, you could slap a chakra suppression seal on someone's body part, for example, just by touching them, or you could remove a seal with a single touch.

"Then one can tattoo seals onto their own body. Chakra strengthening seals onto your own body, for example.

"Tattooing containment-release seals onto your palms is really useful, so that you can suck up and redirect attacks.

"Then there is the Sealing Chains technique. It is a sealing ninjutsu meant to contain anything holding chakra in chains made of the Uzumaki's own chakra coils. Containment is a kind of sealing, so sealing ninjutsu.

"The next ninjutsu is also a containment kind of ninjutsu. Seal barriers - shields and domes made of glowing gold chakra - are also meant to keep something in, but of course they can be used as a defense to keep other things out.

"And finally are seal trap tags. When hidden, these suck unwary trespassers up inside their depths, sealing people away inside the tags.

"And those are the Seven Points."

"… Okay," said Hiruzen, his eyebrows risen, impressed. He raised his hands. "Let's get started, shall we?" he said, sharp-eyed and interested.

Ren had by now turned into his personal project.

Ren did much of the academic studying herself. She bent over scrolls and seals for hours, scribbling and crafting, reading and analyzing, like deciphering a kind of visual puzzle. She got ink stains all over her fingers and became quite obsessed with absent-mindedly working away at seals.

"This is the first academic thing I really feel I'm good in," she told Hiruzen.

"You may learn visually and kinesthetically - by seeing and by doing," Hiruzen admitted. "This is good to know for your academic Academy years, for studying purposes for example. Use your talent for pictures and doing, your natural Uzumaki inclination, as a strength.

"As far as I can tell, you're a wonderful fly by the seat of your pants strategist as well. So make sure to use those spontaneous strategies in battle."

But she also practiced one-touch seal creation on Hokage clones, touching countless times until she had both creation and removal perfect, concentrating with a fierce kind of cuteness. She practiced the Sealing Chains and Seal Barrier glowing gold ninjutsu under the Hokage's watchful eye, passing out countless times, and then once she had them he forced her to use them in battle against his clones.

She practiced making seal trap tag traps, hiding in the underbrush as Hiruzen went out to find her. And she sat at home in her apartment countless evenings and methodically tattooed seals of her own creation all over her body.

With the red hair and the seal tattoos, she was a true Uzumaki at last.

Just for an artistic touch, she put all her body and palm seals in butterfly and hummingbird shapes. She also began using sealing scrolls to hold as many weapons and pieces of equipment as possible just inside her own pouches and holsters.

She had a brand-new label for herself: Seal-mistress.

* * *

Ren was eight years old. She stood across their usual training field from four Third Hokage clones.

"This is a complete assessment of your abilities before entry into the Academy," said Hiruzen. "Once this starts, everything will start immediately - physical warfare, psychological warfare, anything. I will be going very easy on you, but as you are fighting me, this will still be extraordinarily difficult."

Ren paused - and smiled brightly. "Well!" She jumped on the balls of her feet, tilting her head this way and that, still ever the pixie. "This should be exciting!" she said with big eyes. "Oh - if I win, do I get ice cream? It's not worth it if I don't get ice cream."

Hiruzen sighed. "Fine. Ice cream it is."

"Hell yes!" Ren shouted. "Ice cream here I come! Alright - let's do this." And she smirked, ducking her head down, her eyes becoming sharp and serious.

"Okay - START!" Hiruzen stepped back, the four clones and Ren facing off.

"One, two, three, four!" Ren shouted, beaming cheerfully, and then she made some fast hand seals. "Wind Cutting Technique!"

A vast blade of air, wide as a horizontal tree trunk, blew outward at the clones to cleave them in half.

Ren began dancing around fearlessly, right there on the battlefield, right as the clones put up an earth wall to block the wind. She bent right over, saw the wall upside down, and sighed. "Okay," she said, unperturbed. "Let's try this!"

She leaped suddenly into the air and made the hand seals. "Whirlpool Technique! Uzumaki no Jutsu!" she screamed.

And a great whirlpool, a solid wall of wind and water, appeared from the air and slammed into the earth wall, destroying it and flooding the training field.

Hiruzen stood back, watching sharply, fearless as the water lapped around even his ankles before slowly fading away.

The clones were running off in different directions - with razor fast speed and agility, Ren landed back on the water, ran across the top of it even as it faded away, and made more hand seals. "Water Whip Technique!"

Two whips made of water appeared in her hands and she lashed out, lassoing two clones, one each by an ankle with each whip. She pulled them toward her, threw them up in the air, and stuck out her hands as they passed by her. "Wind Blade Technique!"

Two tiny blades of wind appeared in her hands and gutted the two clones to the stomach. They dissipated.

"Hey, two more to go! Not bad!" said Ren with terrifying cheerfulness and quirky energy, then she grinned teasingly at the remaining two clones who had paused in shock. "Aww. What's wrong, boys? A little surprised that a little girl's beating you?

"It's okay. I'll make this fast. We all know I love a challenge, so try to work with me, okay?!"

She made the hand seals.

"Water Wall Technique!"

A wall of water slammed straight into the surprised clones, breaking several of their bones and throwing them into the nearest tree -

But only logs remained when the water cleared. They had replaced themselves and were gone from the clearing. Two Hokage clones were still out there somewhere nearby.

"Hm. They've gotten smarter and stopped underestimating me," said Ren in a thoughtful voice, frowning slightly. "I wonder where they could be…" she said airily, smiling dreamily around the clearing.

Nobody was fooled. Ren was sharp.

Suddenly, voices echoed out to her, whispering voices.

"You'll never be good enough, you know."

Ren paused, her eyes wide and vulnerable for a split second.

"You should know your place at the bottom. What could you ever really do, against us, with so many limitations placed on you? You know no one even likes you. You pretend so hard not to care, but we all know the truth.

"You're alone, Ren… you're nobody… chasing a foolish dream of respect from fellow villagers…

"You're worthless… limited… you can't do anything…"

Ren's hands slowly moved up - and made a hand seal. "… Mind's Eye of Kagura," she whispered, her head lowered and her bangs obscuring her eyes.

Her chakra threw out in a wide, visible arc around her. She looked up, ramrod straight, face blank and empty eyes wide - sensing.

"Genjutsu," she said decisively, and then, "Release!" She shot out a spurt of energy and the genjutsu disappeared.

Ren whirled around, Mind's Eye working one last time, and caught a taijutsu attack from a Hiruzen clone right as it was about to knock her out. But instead of blocking - with supernatural speed and acrobatic fluidity, she flowed around the attack, determined and alarmed and sharp-eyed.

From there, she and the two remaining clones began a furious taijutsu fight, her flowing dodging Mizuoriken against their more traditional Konoha taijutsu. She was good, but they were better, and she was quickly injured and bleeding from several places, including her upper lip.

Finally, she retreated, wiping her mouth and glaring.

"We've gotten to you," one clone observed calmly, "with that genjutsu."

Ren looked down. "… No. You haven't." And then she looked up, glaring, her eyes made of iron. "I'm good enough for myself!" she declared fiercely. "I refuse to know my place! I'm chasing that foolish dream, I'm going to become somebody! I don't care if I'm alone, I still have my self-respect!

"AND I'M NOT WORTHLESS!

"I don't care what kinds of limitations are placed on me anymore, and I don't care who approves and who doesn't! I'm going to push past those boundaries and see just how much I can do! Nobody's going to free me, so I'm going to free myself! I'm going to be myself, I'm not going to be who people want me to be, and if somebody doesn't like that they can go fuck themselves!

"You just spouted a gigantic load of poisonous bullshit, and I'M TIRED OF LISTENING TO YOU!"

Hiruzen smiled proudly from a distance as Ren bit herself. She paused, tilting her head, eyes wide and eerie -

And then everything neatly healed itself, jerking back into place. The bones righted themselves and healed, her cuts healed over, and then she straightened, grinning, perfectly fine.

She spat out the last blood. "Ugh! Coppery! Gross!"

Then she looked up… and beamed. "Okay! Let's try this!" And she sped forward for more taijutsu.

"You didn't win last time," said one clone skeptically as both began sparring with her again.

But then suddenly Ren jumped back.

"Changed your mind?" The clone raised an eyebrow.

Ren gave a wide, slow, evil, shit-eating grin, her eyes narrowed. The clones looked down…

She had slapped two chakra suppression seals, each on one arm of a clone, during the brief taijutsu fight. They would have to do anything one-handed. One of their arms had just been taken out and now fell limp and useless to one side.

And only a seal-mistress herself could have undone that on the fly, they realized with wide, alarmed eyes as one.

Suddenly, Ren ran up the nearest tree and threw herself down at the clones from on high at high speeds.

One handed, they managed a single fire attack as one. "Seal Barrier Technique!" She shielded with a glowing gold shield; the fire dissipated as she cut determinedly right through it, her eyes gleaming. Then, still falling, she shouted, "Sealing Chains Technique!"

She wrapped them up in glowing chains made of her own chakra - landed and held them steady from a distance. Her chakra strengthening seals glowed on her body as she slowly moved in closer and closer by the chains, as if by a rope -

The clones just managed enough chakra from inside the chains. They broke free by hardening their bodies into rock - the sealing chains slipped immediately back inside Ren, forming chakra coils again. She snapped to attention, rolled her shoulders back, and straightened.

She was by now beaten up, sweating, and gasping for breath.

But the clones weren't perfect themselves - especially only having a portion of Hiruzen's full power.

Then the final assault - they threw kunai and shuriken at Ren one-handed - and she held out her palms and sucked the weapons up inside the seals on their insides.

Then she threw her arms out, twisted her hands, and threw the attacks back outward. The kunai and shuriken flung themselves right at their owners.

"Easy," said a clone scathingly. They stepped sideways to avoid the attack -

And stepped right into the seal trap tags Ren had secretly placed near them with the bottoms of her feet - as she'd gotten closer to them during their struggle in the chaining process.

The fight was over as the clones' eyes widened in alarm and they disappeared.

"See you later, motherfuckers," said Ren in an angry, iron voice, grinning and breathing hard - suddenly alone on the battlefield.

"… You do realize they were simply acting and they're me, right?" Hiruzen said, amused, from off to the side.

"Yeah, well, they sure as hell felt like enemies - it was a really good act," said Ren bluntly, and she sat down right there on her butt on the training field. She flopped over and yelled dramatically, "Why do all my plans leave me exhausted?!"

"Well, if you're yelling like that, you must be fine," said Hiruzen in amusement, walking over beside Ren on the training field. "Ren." Ren looked up, wide-eyed in surprise. "… Good job," said Hiruzen warmly, looking down at her. "On the psychological and strategic as well as the fighting level."

Ren slowly smiled, more quietly and warmly. "Thanks," she said, grinning and breathing hard. "I'm exhausted. Nice to know all that hard work paid off."

"Most Academy students wouldn't have been able to do a single one of those things without passing out or being knocked unconscious," said Hiruzen bluntly. "You and your chakra have really come far."

"Yeah, then I'm better than usual?" said Ren curiously. "I wouldn't know - my only litmus test is you."

"You are far better. I purposefully didn't tell you that because I didn't want to stifle your ambition," said Hiruzen simply.

"Cool," Ren grinned. "So… ice cream?" She perked up.

Hiruzen sighed and smiled. "Yes," he said, "ice cream."

Ren somehow immediately leaped up and started jumping around, dancing and cheering in triumph. Hiruzen shook his head, fondly amused.

As they walked, Hiruzen said, "The Academy student graduation required age has been changed to twelve since the last Great War. This was done by the heroic Fourth Hokage from the famous fox demon story, before he died.

"So you have to attend the Academy. Even though truthfully you are far beyond it. For psychological reasons. The Fourth found that… healthier."

"Eh. I like meeting and talking to people anyway." Tough face on, Ren shrugged philosophically. "Gotta start changing people's minds by being an awesome ninja somewhere, right?"

Hiruzen smiled warmly.

"Since you are now a powerful Uzumaki founder of Konoha, the only one of your kind, I should tell you your clan rights," he continued. "You are entitled as an adult to a certain amount of wealth every month, a compound, and as an Uzumaki main family member, a maximum of two spouses. Any main family clan member is allotted the same, even in this age where arranged marriages no longer happen quite as often."

"Clan stuff, huh…?" Ren trailed off thoughtfully.

* * *

That night, Ren reached into the good old chest of scrolls at the study desk where she still did at-home academic tutoring - something she had been steadily improving in, by the way, though she would never be a brainiac.

This scroll read: "Uzumaki Clan History." It was in what she now recognized as her mother Kushina's handwriting.

Ren sat down at her desk, opened up the clan history and information scroll, and started reading. One of the first words that stuck out to her was a word she had studied as a seal-mistress: "Jinchuuriki."

Human sealed demon container.

The first thing Ren thought of… was the mysterious Five-Point Seal tattoo that sometimes appeared on her stomach when she channeled chakra, in accidental emotion or on purpose - right over her hara, or chakra center. A seal she did not remember making herself.

And her fox demon and birthday connections.

Eyes narrowed in intense thought… Ren began reading.

* * *

Author's Note: I've added tags. Look up top. The end pairing will be SasuNaruGaa, or Sasuke/Naruto and Naruto/Gaara. But there will also be teenage dating in the meantime.


	4. More Than A Hokage

Chapter Three: More Than A Hokage

Ren read her mother's words, her story and explanation:

"The Uzumaki are not originally from Konoha. We are actually a foreign clan that was destroyed during the Third Great War, our remnants scattered to the winds. We became a clan on a green island surrounded by turbulent seas, Whirlpool Country, near Water Country. We were the kings and founders of our own Hidden Village, Uzu.

"We were on the Konoha side in the Third Great War, but if you've trained extensively in our abilities, you can probably see why we were thought too powerful by the opposing Iwa-Suna forces. We were decimated and destroyed. There may have been other survivors, but it is unclear where they escaped to. It took two foreign armies to kill our clan.

"So what was our connection to Konoha in the first place, you might ask? Why did I, Uzumaki Kushina, end up here?

"I was a refugee, an immigrant, a diplomatic chess piece.

"The Uzumaki are cousins of Konoha's founding clan, Senjuu, the great and natural rivals of Konoha's equally ancient and powerful clan Uchiha. At the time of this writing, the last Senjuu has left Konoha in retirement with no children, so any Uzumaki children I have are also Senjuu heirs. This means we are related to the First and Second Hokage, who in turn mentored the Third.

"You can see a swirl symbol on the back of each and every single dark green Konoha flak vest. That red swirl symbol is the Uzumaki symbol. Konoha and the Senjuu originally put that swirl on their flak vests as a symbol of close friendship with the Uzumaki, their family. This was done back when Uzu was still its own village, and the practice continues today.

"Here was the problem. Konoha had tamed the Tailed Beast, or demon made of chakra, local to their region, the Kyuubi Nine-Tailed Fox, long ago. But it was so powerful they needed a living human being to put it in - a jinchuuriki, that had the demon possessed sealed away inside their body.

"The Uzumaki are uniquely placed to be jinchuuriki. We have incredibly powerful chakra, capable of handling the strain of initial implantation, and we are seal-masters ourselves. Most luckily, we were also often powerful women and popular in arranged marriages.

"I think you see where this is going.

"An Uzumaki was sent to become the First Hokage's wife. This means all Senjuu descendants are related to the Uzumaki even more directly. That includes the famous Tsunade of the Sannin. Uzumaki Mito, her grandmother, became the first Kyuubi jinchuuriki.

"Uzumaki live a long time, it is a gift of our chakra, but when it was time for Mito to die, a new person had to be sent in her place. As a diplomatic gesture to continue goodwill between the two villages. I was sent as a child to become the next Kyuubi jinchuuriki - Uzumaki Kushina. I became a Konoha ninja when I should have become an Uzu ninja. There was no arranged marriage for me.

"It was the Third War and a different time by then.

"I was an immigrant, and then I became a refugee. I got the news from a distance that my childhood family, my clan, was dead. I was… all that's left.

"And so now the Uzumaki are members of Konoha, and even heirs to the great Senjuu line. I write this as I am expecting a child myself. My husband is the Fourth Hokage - Namikaze Minato. Most people know him as the handsome blond man who became known throughout the Elemental Countries during the Third Great War as the lethal Golden Flash.

"I hope to pass this clan history scroll on to my daughter Ren when she is old enough to read it."

Ren sat back at her desk, tears in her eyes and a hand over her mouth. It was as if her parents were speaking back through the years to her; she knew them, could hear their voices.

But there was still so much that she did not understand.

"The Five Point Seal," she whispered to herself, "when put over the hara, would be perfect for containing the Kyuubi demon.

"But why… and how…?"

* * *

Ren burst into the Hokage's office the next day and sat down across from him, arms crossed and glaring. He looked up from his paperwork.

"Ren," he said cautiously, "I am busy. What is wrong?"

"My Mom left behind a clan history scroll. I just figured out a lot.

"Here's what I'm thinking," said Ren in growing anger, "that the Five-Point Seal over my hara would be perfect for containing a demon. That I am called 'fox girl' by the adults. That I was both born and orphaned the very day of the Kyuubi attack. That the Fourth died sealing the demon away and most jinchuuriki die from demon extractions, accidental or otherwise. That jinchuuriki seals can theoretically be weakened by labor and birth. That I am an Uzumaki, perfect to become a brand-new demon container if one is needed.

"And that babies formed near yokai sometimes take on half yokai characteristics - like a strange eye appearance, for example. These aren't clan markings at all, are they?"

And Ren just sat there, glaring at the Third.

"My birth destroyed half the village," she finished flatly.

The Third sighed and sat back, closing his eyes and looking old and exhausted. "That… is no one's fault," he said first. "Especially not yours. I… was wondering when you'd figure it out, once I gave you the scrolls.

"You asked that first day about your parents. I told you to keep reading."

"So… the Fourth was a wind elemental?" Ren confirmed.

"Your father, Namikaze - or, 'wave of wind' - Minato, the Golden Flash. Yes," said the Third simply. "He had been appointed as next Hokage by me, for his stunning bravery on the Third War battlefield and extraordinary abilities. He and your mother had married, and decided to have a child in secret. They had so many enemies… almost no one to this day knows about the pregnancy, or why Kushina was suddenly absent from public life during the last several months before her death.

"No one knows your parents even had a child. Almost no one knows you exist. I kept it that way after deaths… for the same reason. To protect you against their many enemies.

"Please don't tell many people, Ren, until you are an older ninja and can defend yourself properly.

"As for the demon… yes. Your parents were taken into the forestry outside the village for the birth, but the worst happened. The demon erupted outward, destroying and killing everything in its path. Your parents died sealing it into you. They asked me… to look after you… as they lay dying.

"Your parents wanted you to be seen as a hero by the village. They loved you, and wanted you badly. Here is the problem.

"The Kyuubi and jinchuuriki situation used to be a top S-class secret inside Konoha. But we couldn't hide you. Your creation had destroyed half the village. So you became the first openly known Kyuubi jinchuuriki, and the adults have feared and hated you, misunderstood you and considered you to be the demon you contain, ever since.

"I passed a decree saying no one is allowed to talk about your jinchuuriki status. It is a law, with strict and severe punishment. So the people your age don't know. You can tell anyone you choose, but you are the only who can. I was hoping the children would not inherit their parents' hatred of you… but groupthink is a strong force.

"Hence the contempt of you by your fellow childhood villagers. You have your work cut out for you. They hate you without knowing why."

The Third finished his story, eyeing Ren hesitantly. She had slowly sat back in startled thought. At last, she nodded, swallowed.

"… It's good," she admitted, oddly shaken. "To know going into the Academy. So… your protection, as well as my mother's clan's strong matriarchal status… that's the reason I don't share the Namikaze surname with my father?"

"Correct," said the Third. "Though… in S-class records, you are called Namikaze Uzumaki Ren. You can carry that name… you don't have to change it if you don't want to, not even in marriage, when you're older and who you are becomes widely known."

"Why… my father… he was a handsome, powerful blond man and a Hokage, but why was he called the Golden Flash?" Ren asked.

"He created many of his own ninjutsu… several wind ninjutsu, and then a teleportation ninjutsu. People thought he was so fast he was a blond blur, disappearing from one place and reappearing in another. He terrified his enemies."

"Can I learn his techniques?" Ren perked up.

The Third Hokage chuckled. "When you are older, his old Sensei Jiraiya of the Sannin has agreed to come back and help train you… ask him then, for everything, for anything you wish."

"Jiraiya - my retired relative Tsunade's teammate, the last Senjuu, her teammate?" said Ren, interested.

"The very same," said the Third, smiling warmly. "I myself taught both of them, you know, during my Hokage term and all. So you were always in good hands.

"Hokage duties can be difficult, but with appropriate time management and cleverness a person can do everything they need to in life, even with the title. Your father knew that, too."

"… I want to be one," said Ren suddenly, looking down wide-eyed and coming to a decision. "A Hokage - the next in a long line."

The Third looked surprised.

"How else," Ren asked, looking up, determined, "am I going to truly prove myself as a human ninja of worth to the people of my village? What better way than to be appointed and voted in as Hokage, the strongest of all in Konoha? That would be the perfect way to gain respect. Take my father's title."

"… That may be a lot of work," said the Third cautiously. "There is so much working against you… and a woman has never been Hokage before."

Ren looked up firmly. "Then I will be the first!" she said in a strong voice.

The Third Hokage paused - and smiled.

"Do you know, Ren," he said, "you are so much like your parents. They were just like you - bright and optimistic and idealistic, energetic, fiery and determined. Like you, they never flagged, never stopped working hard, never gave up. And they became some of the best in the world for it, and some of the most beloved in their own village. Konoha still mourns them. They had that kind of effect, no matter what their enemies fearfully thought of them.

"And they would be so proud of you."

Ren paused… and smiled, tears stinging her eyes.

* * *

The last thing Ren did before Academy signup day was get into feminism.

"If I'm going to be the first woman Hokage," she told herself determinedly, slamming the pile of feminist books down amid countless other piles in her eccentric bedroom, "I've gotta read up on the people who believe that should be possible."

Ren discovered her culture's feminism focused mostly on the limitations placed on women because they were forced to be traditional wives, daughters, and mothers. She drank all of it in - the idea that a woman could be a powerful leader, a role usually blocked off to women, and also a wife and mother.

"Like the Third Hokage said: with proper cleverness and time management, a person can have both a personal life and a work life," she whispered to herself softly, still reading.

She drank in every feminist book she could get her hands on, and studied subjects as diverse as revolutionary female artists, and alcoholism and domestic abuse in men. Loving her own sex truly for the first time, she became a fierce defender of women.

She said into her usual recorder one day, "… I've decided that a person can be sexual and flirtatious without feeding into our culture's porn addiction, which demeans women." Her voice was firm. "I've also decided that even thought I'm a weird girl, I've got to be the main character of my own story - not the love interest in somebody else's. I have to stop trying to please dark, brooding guys.

"So there. My first step was deciding I'm worth it on my own merits, that I'll prove everyone wrong about me by becoming a female Hokage and also a wife and mother… and my second step is deciding I'm the main character, not the love interest.

"I'll even be a clan head someday, which means I am allowed multiple husbands. Polygamy is pretty common in our culture, but allowing it in women is a pretty new thing - an act of rebellion on the part of women, who used to usually be stuck with the raw end of the deal.

"In short: I've gotta start being my own person and deciding things for myself. A true feminist.

"Oh, and also… this is embarrassing, but I've discovered I like romantic pop and enka music." Her tone was embarrassed. "I… am not sure how this tallies with my feminism, so maybe I just won't tell anyone."

Then she turned off her recorder, turned on a romantic song on her stereo, and paused and sighed, smiling daydreamily upward and clutching one of her precious books to her chest in her fanciful purple, daydreamy bedroom with its crystals, its glitter decorations, and its butterfly and hummingbird wall stencils. Potted plants littered the space. An avant-garde kimono hung in the open wardrobe door. Her cute little stuffed green frog wallet filled with green tea caramels sat on her bedside table. A calendar hung across the room, the tiny TV with stacked movies in a corner across from her bed.

With her crystal pendant around her neck, her purple sweater dress that matched the purple in her eyes and her black fishnet armor leggings, her long braid of red hair, her countless seal tattoos in butterfly and hummingbird shapes, her fox woman facial features, and her equipment pouches and weapons holsters filled with sealing scrolls, beanie babies, and wild berry pop tarts…

She was ready for the Academy.

Her Uzumaki chest of scrolls had been tucked into a safe and special corner of her bedroom. She had closed it with one of her own special blood seals and a note, in gel pen with cute kanji and hearts: "Family Stuff! Good Luck If You're Not In My Family!" it read cheerfully.

She paused and looked around.

"… Konoha Ninja Academy and all fellow trainees, here I come," she whispered, smiling slowly in excitement.

Uzumaki Ren had somehow, at eight years old, found some modicum of happiness and self-respect at last.


	5. I'm Not Writing on FF (Still on Ao3)

I have discontinued this story on FF, but will be continuing it on Ao3. My Ao3 account is Lyn_Laine for anyone who is interested in checking me out.

Quite frankly, it's not worth it to continue this story on FF. It's getting no attention and nothing but dumb or pedantic reviews. That sounds rude, but you know what? I'm 24 with a job and a degree and I have gotten to the point where I just don't care. I carve time out of my day to write things that matter to me, I work till eleven every night, and I come back to FF to find a bunch of completely fucking idiotic reviews and no feedback even in the positive variety. And FF messages me personally every time I get a new dumbass review, so I'm bombarded with them all the fucking time. Ao3 does not do this.

I'm tired of putting up with the bullshit on FF. I work till eleven every night and I come back to find reviews that say things like "Don't use English language for jutsu" and "I'm confused" and that's all they have to say. One reviewer posted about inconsistencies in a jinchuuriki seal without taking into account gender differences, and completely ignored all the character and plot nuances in the story. Still others won't wait for me to get to the chapter where I actually explain my viewpoint. My absolute favorite just summed up everything good about the story with "Is okay." Then they spent an entire paragraph quite frankly bitching.

Ao3 readers provide more limited feedback, but what they do provide is nice and lengthy and helpful, sometimes even in critiques. Ao3 readers are almost always polite, they don't get impatient, they don't get pedantic, and people actually seem interested in my story in Ao3 terms. It's a nice, chill, low-stress experience. And that? That's what fanfic writers post for. It's why this story isn't just languishing somewhere on a word document on my computer.

So... sorry if you can only follow this story on FF, I guess, but I'm really not sorry. In comparison to Ao3, this has been an incredibly shitty experience and I'm not even upset. I'm just irritated, frustrated, and done. I've blocked enough people that I'm just done.

I'm checked out. See you later, guys. I'm not even sure if I feel like posting on this account anymore. Consider this goodbye at least until I get up the gumption to put up again with the rampant stupidity that permeates every aspect of FF.

Thanks for the wild ride. I guess.

She shouts into the void and no one pays any attention.

~ Eilwynn


End file.
